Tag: ImarriedaRIP

The Last of Us?

Alberta, Canada, has become a popular place for filming. You might recognize some of the following movie titles—Unforgiven, The Revenant, Brokeback Mountain, and Legends of the Fall—a handful that have been shot here.

This image was not a film set from the post-apocalyptic HBO series The Last of Us, recently filmed in parts of Alberta. This fire began in the early morning hours when the temperature outside was about -16 degrees F and it’s currently under investigation. As fire crews battled the blaze, the water began freezing and for perspective, one gallon of frozen water weighs just over eight pounds.

Built in the early nineteen hundreds, this historic hotel did not survive the lethal combination of fire and the crushing weight of the ice.

I remember this hotel from when I was in my twenties. The bar was a little on the rough side but stuff like that doesn’t matter as much when you’re young and invincible.

It was impossible to get close, so I shot these using my telephoto lens. While doing so I discovered that if positioned myself just right, I could capture a rainbow. Which I did right before my bare fingers turned numb from the cold.

What I love about my life is the passion my husband and I share for nature, and we make sure to take time to appreciate whatever that brings. Sometimes it’s beautiful but other times it’s incredibly destructive.

This fire did not take any lives, but a piece of history has been lost. The building was demolished a couple of hours after these photos were taken.

Take time to appreciate the places and people that surround you—you never know when they’ll be gone forever.

Equine therapy…

There’s something therapeutic about being in the company of a horse. They listen without judgement to words left unspoken.

Anxiety has become a copilot for many, so heading into the holiday season, I wanted to share a technique that I learned for grounding. It utilizes the senses and can be done anywhere, at any time. A panic attack can feel quite debilitating, but this exercise might help to quell the clanging of that alarm bell.

Panic attacks can be triggered by a multitude of events—a smell, words, a loud noise, something you see, or stress, to name a few. Knowing what those triggers are for you can sometimes take away that element of surprise.

The 54321 method of grounding walks you through the five senses. Begin by taking some deep breaths and focusing on your environment. For this example, I’ll use a barn. Take time to really notice your choices, don’t make this exercise a rapid-fire checklist. In your mind, mentally squeeze every last detail out of your selections.

Five Things I See: steam rising as sunlight hits weathered wood, symmetrical stacking of bales of hay, a worn leather saddle, a chestnut horse, grooming tools

Four Things I Can Touch: the metal clasp on the stall door, the satin coat of the chestnut gelding, the coarse strands of hair making up his mane, the softness of his muzzle as he snuffles a treat from my hand

Three Things I Can Hear: a radio softly playing a country song, a puff of breath from the gelding’s nostrils, the swish of a tail

Two Things I Can Smell: clover scent of fresh hay, earthy smell of manure

One Thing I Can Taste: lingering taste of my morning coffee

Don’t let the holidays become a source of stress. Focus on the people who matter most to you and if you get overwhelmed, breathe, and take a few minutes to ground yourself.

Life in color…

We got up early and drove in darkness to catch this brief moment of light and color in the mountains. We don’t mind the drives—they’re a perfect combination of companionship and conversation without interruptions from phones.

It’s been the most beautiful of Octobers. Cool mornings, warm days, and many opportunities to view the colors of fall. For once, the winds haven’t snatched the leaves from the trees.

This particular place is one I’ve photographed before and hiked through the trees in the background. The mornings when the water is burnished in copper by the mountain’s alpenglow are special though. It doesn’t happen all the time.

And that beautiful red bush on the beaver lodge! How perfect…

In the light..

I’m not a big fan of Hallmark holidays. Some are easier to ignore than others, but not this one. This one is a blatant reminder of what I no longer have, and I know I’m not alone with these feelings.

That’s the thing about life—you aren’t guaranteed more of anything. Not time, not love, not even relationships. One day you can wake up and words left unsaid, or spoken in anger, are what remain. Echoing through an eternity of what might have been. My father’s been gone for decades now but I know that he knew how much he was loved. I’m happy I told him that. And I was never more sure of his love than in those times when I wasn’t the best daughter.

Father’s Day is joyful for some and painful for others. I think about the men in my life and am so proud of them. Amongst them are great fathers, new fathers, sons taking care of fathers. Some have lost fathers, some have lost children, some have lost dogs—you know I can’t forget the dog dads!

It takes a special person to be a father and maturity on the part of the child to understand the complexity of the relationship.

My father painted landscapes and the ones that I own are amongst my most prized possessions. And every time the shutter clicks on a landscape like the one above, I think of him.

I’m glad I didn’t only celebrate my dad on the third Sunday in June. I may not have known it in the moment but he gave my life a richness that I’m forever grateful for.

Relationships can be as transient as alpenglow in the mountains—treasure the good ones. If there isn’t balance in the relationship, if it’s predicated on you doing all the work, consider walking away. Life’s too short, spend it with the people you love. The ones whose love you never question.

I can relate…

May 2-8th has been designated Mental Health Week by the Canadian Mental Health Association and it’s been on my mind a lot this week. Coincidentally, there’s been a very high profile court case running that deals with abuse and mental illness, and while the testimony has not been completed, and I’m not passing premature judgement, I’m encouraged by the dialogue this case has brought about.

I think we have a tendency to talk more about depression and suicide when we think about mental health, but this week, I’ve thought more about mental illness.

I suspect many people prior to this highly publicized case would have envisioned only the man as the abuser. That preconception is why the statistics are so skewed when it comes to abuse. Women are just as capable of being abusers. Their methods tend to be different, but they are no less damaging and the stigma attached to a man who comes forth with these allegations, is one of the reasons why they don’t.

I feel like this is a step forward— for men and for a more open discussion about mental illness.

The photograph above might be interpreted differently by everyone who sees it. It’s a sunrise through trees—a reminder that things are not always as they appear.

A covenant…

Wild Bird World says that spotting an owl, particularly one holding watch or in a strong and dignified stance, might mean that a well-deserved justice is going to come forth.

I like to think that I’m a practical girl. I prefer when science offers me explanations for the things I encounter, and yet a part of me, that same part that likes to think there is good in everyone, wonders if it could be a sign. I’ve seen more owls in the last few months than I’ve seen in my whole life, prompting us to place a beautifully crafted Great Horned owl this past Christmas, atop our tree.

(Cue the practical girl to return from the forest of mystical signs.)

Some say that when people do bad things, you have to love them and let them go because that type of person isn’t capable of remorse or even an understanding of how broken they are. The carnage they leave in their wake will, in their minds, always be someone else’s fault.

We talk about nature or nurture but does it matter? Is why someone does something somehow a valid excuse for the behavior? Not in my mind. Sometimes people are just evil. They cloak themselves in character traits adopted to disguise the rot inside. A bit dark perhaps for a Monday morning but once you’ve encountered this type of monstrosity it’s difficult to not use it as a measuring stick for mankind.

My covenant? I’ll take the strong and dignified stance, allow a fanciful thought that an owl could be a sign, but never stop fighting for justice for myself or those whom I hold dear.

Stay the course…

In my sailing days there were times when the seas were rough and the waves were breaking from the wrong direction, making the path forward difficult and dangerous. Sometimes, because of the length of the passage, there was no option of turning back.

I remember reaching port after one such trip and realizing that I hadn’t let fear overtake me—I’d stayed the course and come out the other side. Oftentimes, it spoke to having had enough ballast to hold steady in battering seas.

Ballast. We need that on dry land too. Someone or something that balances and strengthens us. I’m grateful that I have that. It comes in the form of friends that stay close, family that supports, and last but not least, my husband.

If you’re a fan of the hit series Yellowstone you’ll understand…I married a Rip. And I’m one lucky girl.

Look for the ballast in your life. Put time and attention into the people that put time and attention into you.

Into the Night (shake it off)

Night’s darkness looms

Greens fade into black

The horizon’s bright band

Doesn’t reach where I stand

Headlights behind

Embed thoughts in my mind

The air is so thin

I can’t breathe enough in

Stars blanket the sky

Silence rings in my ears

What once was my zone

is now filled with unknown

The snap of a twig

Mirrors the click of a gun

Suck a breath in

Or the pattern will win

Pull out the camera

Set up the tripod

Scars never heal

But fear’s lost its appeal

(shake it off)

I began writing Into the Night (shake it off) last year after realizing that I had overcome my fear of the night once again. I couldn’t have done it without the patience and support of my husband—he gave back to me what I allowed someone else to take from me.

We are a product of everything we do and have done to us. That’s what I believe. I also believe that good and evil exists and their defining characteristics are not gender based. Gender can however play a role in how these qualities manifest.

Don’t allow fear to be a dictator—empower yourself. Surround yourself with people whose actions don’t raise questions and distance yourself from those whose do. Be ruthless. It might be tough at first but it gets easier over time.