I’m encouraged by conversations about gender and fluidity but puzzled by the lack of those concepts when it comes to the topic of abuse.
We need to stop genderizing abusers. There are good people who live by moral codes and there are bad people who exist purely to cannibalize those around themselves.
Abusive relationships are about power and control and when we make decisions about who is abusive based purely on biologically defined factors, we are minimizing abusive behavior by women.
It needs to stop—abuse does not just happen to women and when it happens to men, there’s the added price of a stigma attached.
Abuse is perpetrated in many forms and many, if not most, do not leave visible scars or bruises.
Abuse is not just a conversation for and about women, and it’s not about raising better men. Until abuse becomes a conversation for and about everyone, and its definition beyond physical becomes more universally acknowledged, we will never come close to resolving it.
2 thoughts on “Let’s talk about it…”
Men are usually up against disbelief (and more), as you point out, but it is heartening to see the support that men get when they dare to bare all, like Jack Wright did. It’s not always possible to be as open as Jack, of course, but actions like his go a long way towards opening people’s minds. May the day come when a particular gender doesn’t leap to mind when someone says the word “abuse”!